Hey lonely girls of the world: it's me! Cait Raft! I'm here to save you from your seriously depressing and isolated existence! Yeah! I've invented a cure-all for lonely girls across America: the Male Prostitute! Now, I know what you're thinking "Ew! I don't want to pay a man to have sex with me! First of all, it's pretty easy to get laid for free because I have boobs, and second of all, EW EW EW!!!" Well stop right there! When you buy one of Cait Raft's male prostitutes you aren't paying for sex! No! Not at all! Here's how it works:
Step 1: Call Cait Raft's Male Prostitute Hotline and order your Male Prostitute
Step 2: Male Prostitute arrives at your home
Step 3: Male Prostitute will hold you and tell you you're pretty* for a maximum of six hours!
Haven't you ever wanted all the perks of a perfect loving, doting boyfriend without the hassle of having to get to know or have sex with a human? Well today's your lucky day, my sad little friend. Order one now and have a night** of love and affection without any pressure to have sex or do anything!
*Many other compliments available!
**Night must be less than 6 hours long
***Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't officially endorse this product I just thought he would be a good spokesperson
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